I’m so honoured to know this place
and I count myself blessed to find that it’s familiar;
I’ve got that feeling of being Home in my own skin again,
and One with All.

I’m not always here.
In fact, I quite often venture out and away,
“Gone Fishin,'”
stepping out into the foray of the unknown.

I bring with me the Inner Strength I’ve gained, as well as a few other things: Gratitude, Song Medicine, my Ability to Stand in Awe, commitment to Growth, Creativity, Resilience, Tools for Grounding and Connection, Surrender and Faith.

All these I pack in a day bag,
although I’m sometimes gone longer than expected,
a week, a month, a year or more.

Also in there goes:
-Vulnerability, carefully handled. A little heavy, but worth it.
-Self-Awareness (at least that which I’ve collected so far)
-A bunch of Courage.

I’ll need all these things if I’m gonna believe in the Perfection of my Imperfect Humanness.

– Compassion (check)
– Forgiveness (check)
– Self-compassion and Self-Forgiveness (a little patchy, but they’ll do…)
– Deep Love and Respect for All Living Things (check, check…)

I think I’ll leave behind my shoes and clock;
they tend to interfere sometimes,
with my better walk.

No need to pack support of Spirit and Mother Earth,
They’re always there, within reach along the way.
(As long as I can stay awake… and even when I can’t)
Plus, there’s just no way to contain them in a bag.

All the Essentials.

Hey!
Perfectionism, Self-Doubt, Desire for Control, Expectations, Attachments, Concern With Outcome and Need to Know,
how did you all get in there?
Rolled up in your tense little balls.
And Shadow Side! You too?
I don’t remember choosing to include you.
You’ve clearly been in there for a while.

You know, you’re all getting kinda stale.
But you’re so impressively sticky– Ugh.
I guess for now you’ll have to stay
At least until I can muster up some Hard Work
and Cleansing Rain.

Hmmm… there’s definitely still room for Old Wounds, fresh Tenderness, some Sore Spots
and a few Triggers (in case Fear needs something to nibble on, of course…)
Some of these are already unpacked, with fading charge.
Some are still in their boxes, tied up with pretty bows.
I give ’em a curious shake, pull at the constraints.
Better bring some Trust
that there’s someone out there
with just the perfect kind of scissors
to cut the strings and red tape that still inhibit their emergence.

And there’s that sneaky Blindfold that I can’t tell I’m wearing
until someone holds up a Mirror.
(Better bring the Mirror! Comes in handy both ways)
And where’s that Blessing/Curse Mind of mine?
Oh! Right here in my head.

Let’s see… Is that all I need?
Maybe just a little Light to Shine in the Darkness.

I may have forgotten a thing or two. Or hundreds.
(I know I don’t have as much Power In My Voice as I’d like… and where did I leave my Healthy Relationship with Anger? )

Ok. I’m ready to embark now.
I know I’ve got the Best That I Can Be.
and I can hear the world a-callin’:
Beautiful Life, it waits for me.

_______________________________________

(Epilogue)

Once I’ve given all I can,
supplies exhausted
(yet pack somehow heavier)
I will return to my Tribe,
To patch myself up as best I can
before I do it all again.

So long as I’m Spirit-Manifest-As-Perfect-Imperfect-Human
I need Love.
I need To Be Seen
and to See Others,
and to Celebrate their Gifts and Beauty.
I need them to Remind Me of my own.

And so,
in Gratitude,
I’ll make my way back Home.

~Kate Sutherland